“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
– Corrie Ten Boom
Hey, Worry Warrior. Do you want to stop worrying about everything? When worrying, you use a lot of energy but usually feel like you’re not getting anywhere. Worrying can feel like an endless cycle. If you have anxiety, excessive worry may be a part of your daily life.
“Worry gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” - English proverb Share on X
As I wrote about in a recent article, experiencing anxiety is not entirely a “bad” thing. Struggling with your anxiety does not mean that you are somehow broken. There is actually a lot you can learn about yourself through understanding and harnessing your anxiety.
However, time spent worrying is time wasted. When you are worrying, you are trying to figure out or control something that you cannot. For example, worrying about other people and their actions is something that you cannot control. This worry also distracts you from being aware of your own actions and reactions.
“Worry is using your imagination to create something that you don’t want.” - Abraham Hicks Share on X
Even though worry is a natural human response, it often becomes a dangerous habit. Worry is exhausting, self-defeating and unproductive. It will not get you any closer to your goals, but worry still traps you in, wasting moments, hours, or days of your time.
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Worry’s Biggest Lie
You may not realize in, but “worry” may have convinced you that you need it. Worry’s biggest lie is that somehow you benefit from worrying. “Worry” and “anxiety” try to trick us into believing that they help us in moments when we need to act, respond, or make decisions.
Have you ever felt that worry was helping you? You’ve believed worry’s lie if…
… You find yourself worrying about what other people think of you.
… You spend time thinking through details (or potential worst-case scenarios) for future situations.
… You think that part of caring about someone is worrying about them.
To start debunking worry’s biggest lie, ask yourself these questions:
Do I fear that I will be at a disadvantage in some way if I no longer worry about this? (Hint: probably not).
Without worry, would I be left unprepared or incapable of handing a difficult or unexpected situation? (Hint: probably not).
Does worrying about what someone else is thinking provide any concrete answers or clarity on what I need to do? (Hint: probably not, again).
“If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.” - Ernest Hemingway Share on XHow to Stop Worrying About Everything
1. Take back some control.
You may already believe that worry is not helping you (as we discussed above). However, the difficult part is acknowledging that although worry may seem to be completely out of your control, your perspectives, choices and your time spent worrying in the past are part of what has allowed worry to become a consistent part of your life.
Once you are willing to learn to let go of worry you can start to learn to respond to worry and anxiety in ways that benefits you. Seeing yourself as having some control can allow you to see possibilities that were not clear before.
2. Take a risk.
One way stop worrying about everything is to take a small risk (in spite of feeling worry or fear). This will also help you disprove the lie that worry benefits you. Create new experiences and examples of trusting your own knowledge and instincts.
For example, start a conversation you’d normally worry about when you’ve only planned one thing to say instead of the entire conversation. Or, take extra measures to feel calm, happy or grateful during a time when you might otherwise worry about a loved one (such as when they are traveling or making a significant life decision).
3. Take away judgement.
Be careful not to judge yourself for worrying or feeling anxious. Worrying will happen!
Instead of judging yourself, start to notice when you worry and simply direct your energy toward a small action that will keep you moving forward. It can be something directly related to the subject at hand, but you can first try something completely unrelated to help you release the worried feeling before addressing the issue. For example, invite a friend to dinner, make something you care about cleaner or better, walk your dog, or otherwise take some positive action.
“Action is worry’s worst enemy.” Share on X4. Take time to learn.
If you are struggling to let go of worry and you are concerned that it may be negatively impacting your life, it is never to early or too late to get some help from an expert. I’d love to talk more with you about how you can stop worrying about everything in your life (and start to enjoy life more). Contact me now for a free phone consultation.
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