Do you wish that you could stop worrying about what people think? Do you ever wonder why it’s so easy for other people to not worry what others think of them, while you can’t seem to stop?
It can be difficult to break a worry habit. If someone tells you to stop worrying about what people think, you may find yourself saying or thinking things like: “It’s not that simple.” or “I WISH!”
Rather than judging yourself or telling yourself that it’s impossible to stop worrying about what people think, try using the following tools.
The 6 Steps to Stop Worrying About What People Think
1. Learn where the worry started.
Why do you worry about what people think?
The way that the habit forms varies from person to person. There are a few core reasons that often cause the habit to develop. Some worry habits are taught to us by our experiences in key life relationships, or are caused by struggles with confidence or a need to feel more in control.
Get started by gaining some insight into your own reasons with this workbook:
Click Here: Free Workbook! Stop Worrying About What People Think Now
2. Recognize what worry is costing you.
Wondering or worrying about what other people think distracts you from understanding what you really think or feel. Your time is spent guessing and stressing rather than attuning to your own beliefs and needs.
As a result of being overly concerned about others’ thoughts, you may find yourself saying things almost automatically that don’t actually feel right to you – things that you think someone else wants to hear. Among other things, worry may be costing you a sense of your own values, your self-respect, your self-control and your peace of mind.
Worrying about what others think can encourage you to compare yourself to others in a negative way. This invites questioning yourself and doubting yourself. The result of worrying is more confusion, self-judgement and lack of direction.
Worrying about what people think.... what impact is it having on your life? Share on X3. Connect to your motivation.
Why do you want to worry less? What is it that you actually wish you could let go of? Is it the negativity toward yourself? A belief that others are better than you? The self-consciousness? The wasting of time spent worrying?
Once you know what you want to have less of, motivate yourself by envisioning what you want more of. What will you have when you care less about judgement from others? Perhaps you want to feel more self-accepting, more confident, more in control of yourself, more liked or more respected. Focus on what you want rather than letting the worry distract you. Connect to the ideas that motivate you and that mean the most to you.
When you notice that you’re worrying about what someone else thinks, remind yourself of what motivates you. Aim for what you want, not what you don’t want. The way you spend your time thinking matters, especially when it comes to letting go of worrying about what people think of you.
4. Welcome some risks.
It’s hard to take action and risk receiving judgement, which is part of what keeps many people stuck in a habit of worrying about what people think about them. You must take risks if you want to stop worrying about what people think.
Practice taking action when you cannot predict the response or the outcome. Welcome the risk that someone might disagree with you on something that you say or do. Since you can’t “figure out” what someone is thinking, try taking the risk of asking a person what his or her thoughts are before you spend any time wondering.
Over time you will more easily let go of the assumption that somehow worrying what others think gives you any new information or serves you in any way.
Click Here: Grab the Free Attention Solution Worksheet and Get Results
5. Take in the good stuff.
It’s possible to care about others’ thoughts without having to worry about what others are thinking. People often mistake worrying for caring. You can still value the needs opinions of others as you learn to let go of worry.
Take the time to appreciate positive comments and experiences. This will become easier when you aren’t worrying about the worst case scenario, as worry will no longer be causing you to overlook positivity and support.
Practice deciding how much you value someone else’s opinion. You will begin to control how much power whether or not you know what other people think has over you. You will no longer waste your energy trying to read someone else’s mind when you don’t know for sure what he or she is thinking. You also won’t allow comments from others to tear you down.
Take in the good stuff so that a negative experience won’t throw you off course.
6. Take action toward a goal.
Imagine a goal for yourself. Do you want to be a more confident person? Do you want to give yourself more permission to be your authentic self?
Imagine actions you might make or thoughts that you might have if you were already more confident, care-free, respected, or loved (whatever your goal might be). Imagine how you might treat yourself and your own thoughts if you believed yourself to be confident, care-free, respected, or loved (whatever your goal might be).
Not only will this help you find a goal that you connect with and start illuminating the way to read the goal, it will train your brain to focus on what you think and to value your own opinions of your actions. You’ll be spending less energy wondering or worrying about what other people think.
Less worrying about what other people think will help you be more sure of what your own values are. You’ll have more time to choose your thoughts and actions based on your own values rather than on the thoughts of others.
I created this free downloadable workbook to help you stop worrying what other people think:
Click Here: Free Workbook! Stop Worrying About What People Think Now
Don’t have a few minutes to do it now? Grab the worksheet now and look at it later.
In addition to using the worksheet, find a therapist who will help you work through each of these steps, guiding you to let go of what is not helping you and supporting you to do more of what does help you.